Unknown hunk for Silk

I haven’t updated this blog in a long time because I’ve just been too busy, life under covid has been too hectic, and frankly commercials have not wowed me lately. But this commercial made my jaw drop. Don’t know who the actor is, but holy cow.

Is it just me, or did the (I’m guessing here) male designer who did the “Silk: Milk of the Land” graphic, which lands against the TV screen, want us to interpret that milky splash multiple ways? Was that his “milk of the hand”?

Unknown hunk for Plymouth Rock

This appears to be a regional spot, but I am completely in love with this unruly Sox fan. They’re careful not to make him gay (“you have nice hands too, honey”), but at least the guy giving the massage is also hot. And the main hunk makes it clear, “NOT as magical!” I would really love to edit a version of the commercial that leaves her out altogether.

This spot is part of a cute series. In the other spot, they shove a hot dog in the hunk’s face to keep him quiet. (That always works on me.)

Unknown hunk for Terminix

I absolutely love this commercial, but I’m also a little suspicious of it. Obviously they are poking fun at the masculinity of the man and his fear of the mouse. The fact that nondescript techno music is playing in the background is what I’m suspicious of. Is that their way of saying he’s gay? In my predictably superficial way, I give them a pass for one reason, that the actor playing the muscle queen is flat out hot. Sometimes if casting agents or directors want a character to look ridiculous, they think, “Well then let’s not make him too hot.” Hotness is usually treated as an obstacle to anything self-effacing, which is why so many gorgeous actors undergo some process of negative modification to get ready for a role. Beautiful people aren’t supposed to have problems they can’t solve that don’t directly relate to dating or marriage.

It’s fascinating to me how well outfitted his home gym is. Look at the range of slam balls. Look at the barbell rack and the kettlebells underneath. Can you imagine how much he paid for that full dumbbell rack? A three-tier rack on amazon is listed for 1,700 dollars. I also can just barely make out a bike on his right. Why are there weight plates on the wall? Is that decoration, or is that actually where he houses them? Whatever he’s doing is paying off on that dynamite body, but is all this really just for him, or does he perhaps personal train other people? I wonder how much of that set was prop stuff, or if they scouted for a garage that already had these things?

If he is gay, or if he is a personal trainer, it is definitely time to upgrade his sound system. I see what looks like an old fashioned boombox next to his left knee as he jumps atop the bench. It’s the one true flaw in this muscle temple.

Aston King on Youtube

The Youtube algorithm does not disappoint. We have to get their scientists on the global warming project. Youtube politely suggested to me that I might want to check out this guy’s yoga videos. I do have a stiff back, but after watching his workout, my stiffness is spreading.

Frankly, his plausible deniability is what’s turning me on the most. Like when I watch guys change clothes at the gym (a distant pre-pandemic memory right now), and I can’t tell if they’re showing off for me or totally unaware of my lustful leer.

The nipples are the unsung heroes of that body. A one sentence poem in tribute:

That chest
is blessed.

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Reader suggestion: Carvana ad

Thanks to Brad for this suggestion! This guy is HAWT!

And thanks as well to anyone who has made a suggestion in the last few months. Whether I post it or not, I always appreciate it, and I usually only fail to post it because I’m too busy with “this thing called life”! But keep the suggestions coming, and I promise to try to post them more reliably.

Fernando Belo for Hyundai

I’m looking back and realizing that Hyundai has a pattern of using hot guys in their ads. I’ve mentioned three other Hyundai ads on this site (and annoyingly, Youtube keeps taking the videos down, which is why I always include jpegs now). Fernando Belo is the latest and I would say hottest, except that Ryan Reynolds was also one.

But back to Fernando. I wonder if they kept the fries that fell in his lap as a souvenir?

And why do I suspect that his dry cleaner secretly licked that ketchup stain out? (A stain that I just noticed is not on the shirt in the initial shot but is mysteriously there before the fries fall out!)


The politics are abhorrent. But come on — I would be lying if I didn’t admit my eyes were not glued to that body. Best of all, news outlets were referring to him as the “horned shirtless man.” He is obviously not wearing underwear. I wonder if that bulge set off the Capitol building’s metal detector? Nice nips, too. Maybe the Capitol needs a shirtless greeter.